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does my bomb look big in this?

Due to popular demand, comments (as well as questions) are now being taken.

Send in your question or comment and with any luck It'll get a response before the STD induced madness finally overwhelms the brain of Allah's favourite prophet!

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Click Here to go to the 'Ask Mo Archives'

Q. do you know that YOU SUCK if you don't , now you do the islam is something great that you will never understand so don't miss with it this is just my advice for you ....(audio response).

This question appeared in a religion forum and I thiought that you may be interested. The answers were ALL in favour of free speech and were ridiculing the person, as expected.

 

"Against Islam, how to report the website? There is this website I want to get closed down its has the most horrific messages against Islam , with VERY unappropriate material, lots of sexual images, and INCORRECT information ...how would I come across reporting this site? I dont find any real way to access it, is there a main DOMAIN or ADMIN i can contact on this?"

 

Your comments?. .... Maybe he should team up with Ines Wouters!

I saw Ur Cartoonish Website.Which is very sad news For all Muslims. I Hated it,,Its not Good stuff. Actually ALLAH (THE ALMIGHTY GOD) hated it. HE will surely give u deadly punishment in WORLD and IN HELL... Kindly remove this stuff From the internet...It will Not Divert other people from their religion.But a lot of MISDEEDS Are being added to in ur Account which will show to you in the Day of judgement.THAT is what u did in the temporary world... Please remove this From internet...n beg and pray from ALLAH that he forgive u...Otherwise I m not watching ur Good future. .... OK, I'll take the website down immediately!

Q. What will happen to mudslimes(hic-muslims) at Christ's second coming? Is it true they will mostly be terminated. I do hope you say yes .... No - I'm feeling argumentative today.

Q. Dear Profit, how come Hen F*ckingstone, despite being your best student, flunked in the London Mayoral election that too to an Israel-inclined smart boy? Does that mean end of your dominance or what?. .... Allah prefers blondes.

Q. Complaint - I am one of the muslims.We respect your prophet.Why dont you respect our prophet? .... Maybe you should look up the definition of respect...just to make sure ;o)

I went to that address (Clement Street Bradford). What a bunch of losers. All on welfare!.... Well at least you came away with your head still attached to your body...Well done!

11 Clement Street Bradford 8 West Yorkshire Come Down If You Dare.. .... Not another 'Vicars and Tarts' party...

Q. Mo, if Islam is such a religion of peace and tolerance, why are Indonesia's Christians increasingly seeking refuge in shopping malls and hotels to hold religious services? .... Are you suggesting that rabid packs of blood thirsty followers of Islam have got something to with the situation?

Q. what is it like being a geek? .....Kinda fun.

Q. today I had Alphabits cereal for breakfast. When I poured it into my bowl, it spelled out "Convert to Christianity". Is this a sign from Allah?. ..... Allah's having some serious self-belief issues at the moment.

Mohammed (PBUY), I have had the grandest time here, today. Your site inspires me. Thank you. .... You're welcome...keep the faith ;o).

Q. Mo (PBUY), How about if we muslims all self-detonate at the exact same time? We could leave a serious big impression on the world!? ..... Fantastic idea. But if you don't mind, I'll supervise.

Mohammed (PBUY), I have had the grandest time here, today. Your site inspires me. Thank you. .... My pleasure, come again soon.

you know what i'd shagged you god so hard his kids turned out to be jesus the....fkin trash!! are you gods son then you mother fker i threw you jsus up ya mums fanny! and i made sure it hurt ver bad... it bled like f*ck...the slut!..... I bet you say that to all the girls ;o)

Q. why don't you learn something from great people instead of mocking them and their theories. it's easy to mock them but equally tough it is to replicate their actions and contributions...... You're right, It's very easy to mock them :o)

Well done on your informative, brave and very funny website, I admire your courage in a world full of nutcases who wouldn't think twice about beheading you. Go Prophet!!!! .... Thank you...errr maybe I'll just go and double lock the front door.

Q. sallam how do i learn the quran if i am not focusing? ..... Repeat after me... 'Kill, Kill, Kill'. There you are, you're now officially an Islamic scholar with a complete understanding of the quran.

Q. Dear Mo, I heard today (Thur 17/4) that Abu Izzadeen(aka Trevor Brooks) is likely to be imprisoned for terrorist fund raising. Do you think this might be counter productive? After all Abu (or Trev) is a stupid c*nt of world class proportion and represents to the world the idiocy of Islam; in his own inimitable moronic style. He would seem to be far too valuable to incarcerate....... Of course you are right. But after taking into account time served, good behaviour, early release etc, under the current British legal system his 4.5 year sentence will be over by 8:35pm tomorrow evening.

YOu are son of bitches and dont respect the other religions and you will be die. you are son of dogs and monkeys toooooooooooo ...(audio response).

Q. Mo, why is that your faithful are always on the rage over silly things like cartoons, conversions, etc, etc, etc? Cant they get a life and move on? or is it that they lack crucial psychiatric help?. .....They're only following orders...now where have I heard that one before?

Interesting site, don't tell me God made you do it. He's a f*cker like that...here's a quote for you. Sympathy for the devil, God wrote all the books!! Good luck my friend keep taking the Jihad. .... Thank you....but he really did ;o)

Q. please stop this stop messing with our prophet muhammad (pbuh) this is America freedom of religon what happen to that ..... You'll find it under freedom of speech.

have you noticed that those people who disagree with our point of view (muslims) are given the freedom of speech to air them, whilst they (muslims) in the same breath would deny us ours. It is also my right to call you "carpet kissing paedophile worshipers" LONG LIVE FREEDOM. ....Enjoy it while you can.

Q. Mo, Muslims assert that you once cut the moon in half with your sword. Did the Americans find evidence of this when they landed on on the moon, and if so are they covering it up to hide the truth about Islam from us benighted infidels in the West? .... They could produce no evidence whatsoever! Therefore, they obviously never actually landed on the moon. This proves the landings were nothing more than a Christian-Jewish conspiracy designed to cast doubt over whether I exist! And I obviously do or I wouldn't be here writing this answer.

The Almighty will gather all of us in the Day of Judgment with the PROPHET MUHAMMAD PEACE BE UPON HIM then you will be very sorry about this and you will blame everyone who helped You to do this .So think it over and destroy this website to save yourself that day...... (audio response).

What the f*ck is your problem u b*stard ur causing all the riots burn in hell and allah will kill u when u die u son of a b*stard. ...... You have the bedside manner of a Muslim doctor...so please don't kill me.

Q. your excellency! when you died 1400 years ago, you were intered 6 feet below. now after 1400 years how are you going to rise up to face judgement day? thank you very much. have pint on me. .... You've obviously never seen 'Kill Bill'...and thank you, I will.

Dear Mo - this is a great site. But it would be even better if you changed the font colour of the ranters to green, because that is surely the colour they would be using if they knew how to write with a pen and paper. Mind you, green is the colour of a certain religion... Mmm, changed my mind about that one. ... Green certainly is a lovely colour. I painted my sand dune green once. Not all my responses are interesting.

F*ck You Admin :) Your Mother F*ck Admin :) ...... I never liked Admin either!

Q. Do you know biography of the Prophet peace be upon him Did you know about scientific facts mentioned in the Koran and that scientists demonstrated today? .... Ah, those scientific 'facts' in the koran. Where would the civilised world be today without the koran ;o)

F*CK YOU ALL. F*CK UR PARENTS, UR SISTERS, UR BROTHERS, you ASSHOLES. ISLAM is BEST. Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him)...... Now if I were a psychiatrist I may come to the conclusion that you're suffering from some kind of incestuous sexual fixation.

Q. Oh Great One please guide me. Job Centre are insisting that I stop claiming benefits and get a job !!!!!(racists). Thing is, only the infidel works, Allah has put the the muslim on the earth to ponce and not soil his hands with work...we only dirty our hands when we wipe our backsides. The problem is, do I take a job and insult Islam or do I, as a matter of principle, bomb the Job Centre and therefore stop my income? .....If Muslims are to succeed and rule the world they must overcome these problems with some lateral thinking. Of course you must bomb the Job Centre (that goes without saying), but make sure your wife and children are inside at the time. You will then be able to sue for lots of money and buy yourself a new wife with the proceeds.

Q. why rnt u talking about america? people r just having sex with each other and prostitution is banned in christianity too? dont know? .....I hate to answer a question with another question, but... How do you manage to type whilst wearing a straitjacket?

Q. Mo, since all the fruitcakes who run the BBC think Islam is such a cuddly tolerant religion, wouldn't it be a good idea for them to make a truthful 12-part documentary series about your life story? .... That's a very good idea (although I'm not too sure about the 'truthful' bit). I'll ask my friend Salman Rushdie if he'd be interested in writing it! Who'd play the lead role though... Brad Pitt maybe?

One of the most disrepectful things you can do is pretend to be the Prophet, seeing as he's a very honored person .... Yes, you are right. How dare that war-mongering paedophile from 1400 years ago dare to insist that he is actually me!!!!

Q. Mo - can you get in contact with Allah and get him to sort it out that Chelsea beat Liverpool in the Champions League semi final? PeaceBeUponEwes.....Consider it done.

Moslem rule world one day .... Of course they will... pick up your medication on the way out please.

Q. Dear Mo (PBUY), why is it that all those that insult you on this page seem unable to spell?... Now that's a little unfair. If your Maths lesson consisted of reciting the koran, your english lesson consisted of reciting the koran, your cultural studies lesson consisted of reciting the koran, your cookery lesson consisted of reciting the koran, your science lesson consisted of reciting the koran etc etc etc then you'd also have dificulty doing anything other than making bombs and reciting the koran!

God damage you , Fool people ... Just God damage you , This site will be hacked this week , Our group won't let Fool people have website . So say good-bye to this site. .... Good-bye site :o(

Q. Dear Mo, Love your site! I wonder though.. Why is it that when I read the Koran so much of it is stolen from the Bible.... Did you really have so little imagination?.... Just being lazy.

Hello Prophet, thanks for having the balls to tell it how it is. .... Thanks for the compliment .

Q. Dear Mo, Since muslims worship Hubal (aka Allah) does this explain why "lunacy" is such a common characteristic amongst them?... There is some evidence for this... although drinking unboiled camel urine doesn't help either.

Dear Mo (PBUY), Your site is REALLY terrific. I have learned so much from your site and through your links. I just wanted to encourage you to keep up the great work. .... Thanks...my site is here for the education of all so I'm pleased you have found it useful and now have a better understanding of Islam.

Q. dear Mo what did you get Aisha for her wedding gift? and don't you think leeds united are the best team in the world!!...... I got her a lovely Barbie alarm clock so she wouldn't be late for school...and, Leeds United will soon be back where they belong - if they are not careful :o)

This is short extract from a very long email "...one person crashed a plane into a crowded building not all muslims and fyi, NO ONE has absolute proof that a muslim was actually the one to commit this atrocity".... Of course not. Maybe it was the 83 year old Jewish grandmother sitting in seat 22d that overpowered the crew, took control of the plane and flew it into the first World Trade Tower.

do u know its ur icapability and mental frustration ...... its not only u but ur western power is also frustrater... haha ha ha....... Wouldn't want to meet you on a dark night. But then again, I guess you're safely locked up by then.

Q. Hiya Mo! Can you tell me why, when so many Muslims have a go at you in the forum, you dont ask them to add their own comments on the images and truths you show us? Great Site!... Unfortunately they would have no rational response to the truth.

SHAME ON YOU ..SHAME AND SHAME ON YOU. U CANT SEE MAN. YOU R BLIND ....U KONW ..U MAKE FROM YOURSELF A JOKE...SHAME ON YOU....... And your point is?

Islam does not force women to cover themselves, when the woman feels as though she is ready to cover, she can do so, and why do u say it as if it's a negative thing? Is it better to have a society where women are constantly being raped and men drool like dogs over the revealing clothing being worn?.... If Muslim men could control their sexual urges then there would be no need for Muslim women to cover themselves in the first place.

Us muslims will blow up a bus but we will not blow up a benefit office. This rational thinking proves we are not totally uncivilised... Proof at last!!!

mohammed was a great man who promoted peace and u have started a site like this? turn towards god and shut down this site,before it gets banned. if you not,i shall start a similar site with people like you .. 'Thanks I was (and still am).

you think you're real slick don't u?... this website is probably the sickest joke anyone's ever pulled, and haha ur not funny....to anyone who views this site, i urge you not to ask stupid questions or make any insulting commentary towards this "man" because he's apparently good at come-backs...he learned well from the bullies at school... 'Anger is the path to the Dark Side' ... I sense anger.

Q. Mo, love your site. The nutty Marxist National Union of Teachers (NUT) in the UK recently recommended that Islam be taught in schools. Could your website be used as an educational resource, and would discussing Aisha (since she was very much school age) be a good way to introduce the religion of peace to the youth of the UK?....I'm already in talks with the Educaton Minister to have Allah's favourite website entered into the National Curriculum.

Dear, The worse kind of slavery is when the slave thinks he is free, and that is happining with muslims, they think Islam give them freedom when they are no more than slaves.....And self-imposed slavery makes it even sadder.

well here what you have to say on the day of judgement do taubah and pray that allah gives you hidayah before its to late( before allahs punishment comes down )he was the beloved of allah if u mess wid him u mess wid allah and alaah is the most powerful and hes savere in punishment..?.... You are right, Allah is severe in punishment. It's lucky he love's my website otherwise he'd severely punish me too!!!

Mo, you keep verbally attacking us muslim so to counter this I would just like to say , muslims are hard working, respectable and peace loving people and I will behead and bomb any b*stard who says otherwise.......You won't get any argument from me!

Q. Dear Mo (PBUY), when topless-bar hopping with allah, who picks up the tab?. .... Depends who's got most money left after a night's whoring.

Q. I have just converted into Islam.. the information which you have written about Islam is NOT true.. If you are a prohet then why dont you show your self? Scared? Course you will be.. As far as i know the Prohet was the best of mankind, he still is.. your not even worth his sh*t!!!... GET A LIFE BROTHER! get out of your fantasy world and come in to reality, were in the 21st century love...I wish you a speedy recovery.

Q.Your most Reverend Magnificence. I have recently been released from a top security mental hospital/prison where I have been held for many years for murdering and maiming people. I have been released only because of my fantastic acting ability and capacity for lying. I am now looking for a suitable religeon in which to channel my natural talent for cruelty and homicide. Which religion would you suggest? PS, I am VERY fond of children. (Hope this helps)..... Hmmm...now that's a tricky one!

jus wanna say u just a bludy selfish b*stard huz got nufin better 2 do wiv ur lyf den sit on ur fat arse all day dissin Islam.u dnt know wt ur f*ckn chattin bout u psycho..a fink u shud visit ur local shrink if you fink ur havin drinks wiv Allah in da pub lol u need ur brain checkn out u freak..rot in hell..hope Allah kicks ur fat arse 2 hell nd bak..even dat wnt b enuf punishment 4 yaaa..Get a lyf nd mayb a girlfriend/boyfreind while ur at it...u myt fink ur all clever dissn Islam but we'l see huz laffin wen u get wt u deserve..u betta woch ur back..BURN IN HELL!!!! .... Get myself a ' girlfriend/boyfreind' (sic)?...Is that like one of those ladyboys? Sounds like fun but I'm not sure I'd know where to start ;o)

Hi Mo, Thanks for showing "Fitna" on your site. It is a wonderful film. We need one hundred more films like it. The cost of freedom is constant vigilance against those who think "freedom is from the devil". For those who want a translation of the word "fitna", it means a criminal wrong thought. Any disagreement with Islam is fitna. Fitna must be punished by death. Practically all freedom of expression could be considered "fitna"...criminal wrong thought. Only the mullahs have the right to decide what is fitna and what isn't. They have the right and duty to declare a "fatwa", a death sentence on those guilty of thought crimes. Islam is the only faith that institutionalizes pedophilia, beheading, crucifixion and genocide. All non-Moslems are guilty of fitna. PBUY for maintaining this site. Signed, Non-Dhimmi .... Peace Be Upon Me, indeed!

MARK MY WORDS Mo (F*ck U, U FAGGET ASSHOLE SON OF A BITCH) ONE DAY YOU WILL BE RIPPED APART AND TORN AWAY LIKE GOD WISHES IT TO BE... THERE IS STILL TIME... U'LL BE REGRETTING YUR MISTAKES ON THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT...U STILL HAVE TIME OR THE WRATH OF ALLAH WILL DESTROY U.. .... You are right, I DO have time... 5 minutes until the pub opens, cheers!

THANKS MILLION FOR THE WEBSITE OF YOURS..... YOU ARE THE HOPE OF THE WORLD ....GOD BLESS YOU .... Thanks, he does, and Yes, I guess I am :o)

Hey Mo (PBUY), you've got one of the absolute BEST sites on the web! I hope you're around as long as we need you.... So do I !!!

SIR, HOW DARE I CALL YOU LIKE THAT? U R A CHRISTIAN?YOU R THE SON OF GOD? HOW MANY FATHERS U HAVE BESIDES THE FATHER U HAVE IN UR HOME? DOES GOD F*CKS?THEN HOW DOES HE GAIN THIS MUCH SONS OR DAUGHTERS? F*CK YOU!!!!!!!!1 NOTE,I HAVE COLLECTED ALL THE MATERIALS OF THIS COMPUTER TO MY SYSTEM AND I AM GONNA MOVE IT AS A CASE IN THE INTERNATIONAL COURT.U KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF I TAKE THIS TO THE MEDIA?. ....They'll probably make a programme about you for cable TV. I'm guessing it'll be called 'The World's dumbest Muslim'

Q.Hi Mo (PBUY), AFLAC (insurance company) did a commercial with a goat. Do you know if she is single? .... No, married with 3 kids!

F*K U B*STARDZ….U’LL B F*KED ONE DAY BY UR OWN MOTHER F*CKING FAKE FREAKING PIECE OF A SH*T GOD………UR F*CKING SH*TTING GOD WHICH HAS NO F*KING RESPECT U MUDERING B*STARDZ…….THIS MESSAGE IZ FOR OL MOTHER F*CKING DANISH PIMPS INCLUDING OL UR F*CKING COMPANIONS……..N NOT TO OUR RESPECTED PROPHET……. N YEA U PUSSY…….PBUH MEANS PEACE BE UPON HIM…HIM MEANZ OUR PROPHET NOT UR F*KING WET ROTTEN FAKE PUSSY GOD……IF U HAVE F*KING GUTS THEN COME TO A COMMUNITY WEBSITE AND SAY OL DIS F*KING SH*T DEN U’LL C HOW OTHERS WILL F*K UR FREAKING CASE OFF U MOTHA F*KING CREAPS……UR GOD IS SO F*KING DAT DAT B*STARD DIN GIVE A DAMN ABOUT U F*KERS…DA REASON IZ DAT HEZ BZY F*KING UR F*KING GODDESSES…….IF U HAVE GUTS THEN COME TO MY COUNTRY I’LL TELL U DETAILS OF CONTACTING ME….

MY CONTACT DETAILS NAME: SYED SHAN –E- ABBAS JAFRI

COUNTRY: OMAN, MUSCAT

ADDRESS: P.O.BOX.751 P.C.112 WADI KABIR MUSCAT OMAN

CONTACT NUMBER: 0096895421304

E-MAIL ADDRESS: shan_abbas@hotmail.com / shan_gemy@yahoo.com

IF U HAVE F*KING GUTS DEN CUM 2 ME N TOK FACE 2 FACE U MOTHA F*KING PEACE OF SH*T……….GO F*K UR MOM N IF HAVE TIME DEN DIE N F*K UR GODDESS…………. FUUUUUUUUUUUKKKKKKKKKK UUUUUUUUUUUU ..... I'm sensing anger...

Q. Dear Mo, We hear that the saudi authorities have decided that all the 40;000 imams in Saudi are to attend a course to discourage them from pumping out their poisonous ideology. Why can't they go just one step further and BAN them?. .... If they ban the preaching of hate then they are inadvertently banning Islam...Without Islam there can be no Muslims...Without Muslims there can be no terrorism...Without terrorism there would be no need for Saudi Arabia to exist....Without Saudi Arabia there would be a big hole in the Earth where all the oil would escape from...Without oil I would not be able to drive my car...Without my car I would not be able to get to the pub and put the world to right. I hope this answers your question.

Q. Mo (PBUY), have you heard the one about the Jew, the Christian, and the Psycho (PBUY)?... .... That hurt!

You mixed the events, I saw you talking about Iraqi vs Iranian war and you didn’t be their? is it fair to forget world war1 and world war2 ! As you know most of them are Christians.....Everybody has a right to be stupid but you're taking the proverbial!

Q. Dear Mo (HOBP), I shagging my fave camel when goat wife #2 walk in tent. Can I divorce saying "porkchop, porkchop, porkchop?" .... Now you're just being silly.

look at your own relegion before you pick on other peoples religion and f*ck jebus crist .... I have never had sexual relations with that man.

Q. Blessed Prophet: Apparently there is a film called "Fitnah" coming out soon that paints Muslims as stupid, violent barbarians. Do you agree?.... This is an outrageous slur on the Barbarians. As far as I am aware, there is not a single Muslim in the side.

HOW MANY FATHERS DO U HAVE?IF U CALL ALL CHRISTIANS SONS AND DAUGHTERS OF GOD?F*CK U U WILL SUFFER ONE DAY AND U R NEVER GONNA LAUGH THAT DAY.ANYWAY LETS SEE IT IN THE COURT B*STAD. .... I'm suffering right now. Allah spiked my drinks last night and I've got the mother of all hangovers. Now I know why I banned alchohol...never again!

y da f*k u bein racist u f*kin dum human. whateer the f*k u are ur f*king gay and a big b*stard. mohammed(PBUH)is the best thing ever happend in this world. .... I wasn't aware I was being racist...maybe you'd be kind enough to give me a few lessons in civility and tolerance.

Q. Mo (PBUY), if You (PBUY) are truly a Holy Prophet (PBUY) can You (PBUY) tell what I'm thinking right now?.. .... Yes

what the hell do you think your doing making fun of god and do you want to know what pbuh means well go find it bc it means Peace and blessings be upon him dump A** so get threw ur inorant little head of yours what if i made fun of what ever u r u know what i am im going to make a web page saying oh i was talking to jesus the other day man he sure and jug down beer and then we hit the strip club and we puked and laughed the whole next day!!!!!..... Cool, send me a link when it's online ;o).

Q. Mo, is this question just a cynical attempt to publicise your brilliant 'What the Hell does (PBUH) actually mean?' competition?.... Of course not...well, maybe.

Q. Sa va , tu OSE critiquer l islam et prétendre que il tue leur enfant et que il veulent détruire israel juste par ce que les nazis les ont aidée a chasser la bete immonde ? je vie en europe et pourtant je soutien l islam , car moi jen connais le vrai visage , toi tu te fait manipuler par le systeme bouffon va , si tu vis en france ou comme ca dis moi, comme sa je vien chez toi ... sale fils de pute va tu connais rien sur ce conflit alors ferme un peu ta sale geule , le sionisme est en train de tout écraser en manipulant tt le monde ,la preuve que tu es un pov type ? staline a lui tout seul a gazé 2 foie plus de juif que hitler ... sale con va ta vraiment rien compris..... It's all French to me!

Q. u r a seek man. r u crasy and psy.... Madness is nothing more than a state of mind.

Q. Hi Mo. Peace, etc. Why are all the muslims who write to your site - threatening you with a violent death as a result of your expression of free speech - highly inarticulate, dyslexic, vicious and uneducated?.... Keep going...

Q. Mr. Mohammed, you made a fool out of over 1 billion people who call themselves Muslim. But there are other five billion who you have not been able to fool. Do you think you have failed?.....Failure is not an option. Today sand, tomorrow the world!.

Q. Mo, how would you reccommend Israel to handle the Palestinians?.... Behind bomb-proof glass would be my suggestion.

Q. You bastard muthah f*cker... how dare you mock Islam. You think people believe you when you say i am Muhammed peace be upon YOURSELF?? juz f*k off u idiot. ... Above all else the Devil cannot stand to be mocked ;o)

Q. whts wrong wit u b take this site down and stop being a smart ass..... ahhhh thanks, I'm blushing now.

Q. Dear Mo, what do gay people do in heaven? Or are the virgins their punishment in hell?....Virgins come in all shapes, sizes and sexual orientations.

Q. I have tried it with virgins and they are no good. they know nothing. Is there any way to get more experienced females and are you permitted to beat them?... I don't understand what the problem is. Allah personally tests all virgins vigorously before renting them out to our beloved martyrs. We have never had any complaints and they have never required a beating. Of course you can beat them if you wish, so long as the day ends in a 'y'...it is the Islamic way.

Q. Blessed Prophet; I am a muslim from a small village and wish to riot like my european brothers [inshallah] but we have no cars. Would it be halal to tip over camels and light them on fire?....That would be cruel...don't you have a Grandmother instead?

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